Surprise Turned Sour
"I have a renowned Scrooge and bah-humbug-type Christmas attitude. I decided to surprise my wife one year and decorate our two-story house with icicle lights. She left to go shopping and I saw my opportunity. Thirty minutes later I was en route to a hospital trauma center in a medevac helicopter with a fractured skull, two crushed vertebrae, a collapsed lung, a broken wrist, and lots of fluid loss. My survival was seriously in doubt. When I awoke from a 5-day coma, I realized I had done a very stupid thing: I had overextended my reach and fell 28 feet, landing on the cement driveway. I lived because of excellent medical care and the best surgeons. The important lesson I learned is that the accident was avoidable. I've gone back to being my bah-humbug self, and decorations above eye-level are not permitted."