DIY jokes from this old house
Illustration: Zohar Lazar
For the Painting Contractor

A just-married homeowner decides to prove to his contractor father-in-law that he's not an incompetent klutz by painting a couple of rooms in the house. The young man gets down to the task at hand and works Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning. When his father-in-law arrives for Sunday dinner, he finds the son-in-law lying on the floor in a pool of sweat, wearing a ski jacket and an overcoat. "Are you okay?" the father-in-law asks. "What are you doing?" The son-in-law replies that he wanted to prove his competence by painting the house. "So why are you dressed that way?" the father-in-law asks.

"Well," the young man re­plies, "the directions on the paint can said, ‘For best results, put on two coats.'"
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